Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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