Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
