Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
