Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
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At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
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I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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