I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
