My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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