You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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