They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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