I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
