Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize