Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
