sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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