Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I am naked and annoyed.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
