i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
it glows. i had to have it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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