maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
