The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
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Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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