love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
