I just pynch a tree in the face
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
