During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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