i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.