Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here

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  (515): Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here http://tfl.nu/owjx
  Replies (12) Good night (4646) Bad night (630)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?

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  (617): what date should I let him know how fucked up I am? http://tfl.nu/6aws
  Replies (17) Good night (1365) Bad night (4319)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.

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  (941): i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone. http://tfl.nu/fsw6
  Replies (18) Good night (1131) Bad night (3783)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.

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  (509): Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape. http://tfl.nu/qdov
  Replies (7) Good night (3199) Bad night (782)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...

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  (719): Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this... http://tfl.nu/zlco
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (1160)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.

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  (570): the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year. http://tfl.nu/g3sd
  Replies (4) Good night (1642) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.

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  (207): Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck. http://tfl.nu/rwsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (1069)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.

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  (515): I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes. http://tfl.nu/92xn
  Replies (14) Good night (1898) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.

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  (916): Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER. (1-916): Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt. http://tfl.nu/8glr
  Replies (4) Good night (1872) Bad night (650)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.

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  (254): I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits. http://tfl.nu/syex
  Replies (11) Good night (1259) Bad night (524)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.

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  (330): So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days. http://tfl.nu/om2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1111) Bad night (443)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child

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  (765): Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child http://tfl.nu/7qut
  Replies (6) Good night (407) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.

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  (561): Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/luvf
  Replies (4) Good night (870) Bad night (331)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Was it a good conversation?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was an awkward, sexual conversation.

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  (405): It was like we had a conversation with our eyes. (1-405): Was it a good conversation? (405): It was an awkward, sexual conversation. http://tfl.nu/99u8
  Replies (1) Good night (698) Bad night (329)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.

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  (505): She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem. http://tfl.nu/rpgs
  Replies (1) Good night (1156) Bad night (450)

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