So drunk its hurt
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.