Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
