YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking