I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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