He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hippo gnu deer
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
