So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Randomize
