I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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