Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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