just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
