if i can run in heels then i can drive
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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