Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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