she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need water and some morals
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
