Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You left your phone here
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