guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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