she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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