Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize