Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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