No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
