dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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