Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
