Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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