I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
