I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
