Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
