I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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