Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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