Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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