I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
