Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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