i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
