Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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