So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
