were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Come see our sink grown plant.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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