i don't plan on having that self control this summer
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
