what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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