The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
its not stalking. its research.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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